Hannah Bristol ‘10, Stephanie Everett ‘15, and Liz Keeney ‘72 share their experiences, insights, and hopes for LGBTQIA+ people in today’s workplace.

Whether in the White House Office of Public Engagement, on various stages and sets as an actor, or in administration at a small liberal college in a very red state, navigating being LGBTQIA+ in the workplace can be both exhausting and invigorating. Hannah Bristol ‘10, Stephanie Everett ‘15, and Liz Keeney ‘72, who have worked or continue to work in these arenas know firsthand when it is safe—or not—to show up as their authentic selves. They also know that bringing that authentic self to work is a generous form of leadership.

At a recent Conversations with Friends: LGBTQIA+ Alumni Panel, moderated by Cat Dawson ‘04, a member of the Board of Trustees and an art historian, critic, and strategist who works at the intersection of feminist, queer, and trans studies, the panel discussed various topics around being LGBTQIA+ at work—from how their intersectional identity drew them to pursue specific opportunities or initiatives, how conditions of being LGBTQIA+ or coming out at work may have changed since starting in the workforce, and how mentorships and allyships have impacted their daily experiences.

For the last 30 years, Keeney worked in student affairs at Kenyon College. After working at Harvard and a few other institutions during the late ‘80s and early ‘90s—spaces where she did not feel at all secure coming out—she arrived at Kenyon and knew she had stepped onto a totally different landscape. “Lots of my colleagues were out and everything felt different, safe. It was a big relief to finally be my true self, outloud and in the open,” she says. “And the more comfortable I became with myself, the more I could help others who were struggling. I think that my one-on-one work with students and younger faculty and staff has probably been the most important work I have been able to do.” Her job, however, did not come without struggle. She remembers, before gay marriage was legal, having to fight for equal partner rights for LGBTQIA+ couples. “There were some very conservative, set-in-their-ways people who made the rules around salaries, tenure, and benefits. I believe my Quaker inner being—a gift from my years at Sidwell Friends—definitely carried the day in getting those benefits formally changed.”

Keeney says she felt the most safe when she was at work. Kenyon is in a small college town in Ohio, a liberal town in a very red county with a very conservative Christian college down the road. “Leaving campus felt less safe, though I mostly pass. Even now, I still sometimes do a ‘what am I wearing?’ before I go to Kroger but at this stage of life, I definitely give less of a damn about what people think and feel more and more obliged to be out there for people who are younger or whose situations may be dangerous.” In fact, Keeney, a long-time member of FLGBTQC (Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, and Queer Concerns), continues to be a visible presence and advocate for queer students and staff.

Bristol—a decade out of college—knows that being intentionally and openly herself informs the way she does her job and, being of a younger generation, rarely thinks to be otherwise. Bristol has worked primarily with young people, the LGBTQIA+ community, and on issues like gun violence prevention. Having gotten her feet wet in political advocacy as a student at Sidwell, she finds that being her most authentic self is essential in her work in youth political engagement where, working mostly with young people on college campuses, she helps create safe and supportive opportunities for them to see a future for themselves that is bright, full, and inclusive. “So much of the political environment comes down on kids in ways they don’t often understand or acknowledge,” says Bristol. “Currently, I’m seeing a lot of intentional fracturing of identity— and we must fight against that; advocate for all the letters in LGBTQIA+, in all spaces. We need to speak up for marginalized kids—and adults—who can’t yet speak up for themselves.”

For Everett, being a lesbian is challenging as an actor, especially in musical theater. She says her identity sometimes conflicts with the culture, which causes her to “code switch” to fit in. “I feel safe but sometimes, for the sake of the job, I have to hide more than I would want to,” she says. “I keep a basket of my old fem clothes under the bed for auditions. Seventy-five percent of being an actor is auditioning. The job is predicated on putting away a lot of myself just to get into the room, but I know that once I get the job, I can be myself.”

Everett says she often volunteers to be the Equity deputy, the person who works with the actors union to ensure that the company upholds/ certain standards and protections. She explains that it’s not a job most people want; there’s lots of paperwork and bureaucracy. “But I gravitate to it. I want to make sure my queer siblings are comfortable and have a person they can talk to,” she says.

The Conversations with Friends: LGBTQIA+ Alumni Panel grew from a discussion at last year’s Reunion when Dawson and Sonya Bessalel ’14 mentioned wanting to do an engagement event centered around the LGBTQIA+ identity within the alumni community. A dinner followed at a gay-owned and operated Filipino restaurant in New York City with 12 alumni whose graduation years spanned from 1973 to 2018. At the dinner, the alumni shared their experience at and after Sidwell and spoke about how fulfilling this type of engagement felt. They wanted to hear from more alumni about what this identity means to them, with the Sidwell experience as the common thread. More than 30 alumni logged on to the panel conversation.

Already, LGBTQIA+ alumni are learning from each other—and others who came before them.  Bristol says that though she hasn’t been in the workforce for that long, one of the best parts of being in public engagement at the White House during the Biden administration was working with older LGBTQIA+ people. “I remember, when the Respect for Marriage Act was signed into law, I learned about the people who had risked and sacrificed so much to get where we are, for me and others of my generation to be able to have the life we have,” she says. “My hope is that it will get easier and there will be more role models everywhere for young people. However, with the current political climate, I’m worried that young LGBTQIA+ people may have their freedoms taken away. We need to preserve the gains that have been so hard won.”

Keeney laughs sardonically when she shares with the group that she used to joke that she would be dismissed from jury duty within minutes by uttering five words to describe herself: disabled, Quaker, lesbian, feminist, PhD. “It was true 30 years ago and, ridiculously, it’s still true today.”

In answer to one question during the Q&A part of the panel, Everett says she feels hopeful that more and more young LGBTQIA+ people will see themselves in books, in art and music, and on screen and stage. “Look at the huge ripple effect Cynthia Erivo has made as Elphaba in Wicked,” she says. “Here is a Black, queer woman playing a role that has always been played by a White woman—a Black, queer woman changing the world in a traditional field. I aspire to have that kind of ripple effect.”

To hear more from the panelists on being LGBTQIA+ in the workplace, watch the full conversation here.